Man Bitten by Black Snapping Turtle in Florida

While trying to take down his Christmas decorations in anticipation of the fourth of July celebrations, a forty-eight year old man lost his right big toe when a Black snapping turtle decided to have it for lunch. The White male from Florida had to call 911 via his Obama phone and was rushed to the nearest hospital. When questioned by the authorities, all that Mr Grizzom kept on repeating was: " Is my Santa slay still up there? "

The good news said the doctor: "Mr Grizzom will no longer feel pain when he takes a hit off of my prescribed medical marijuana ".