Brain Surgery

by Tim Murray

When I inquired about my prospects of surviving open heart surgery, a credible informant assured me that surgeons would execute a cutting-edge, less invasive operation, resulting in a quicker recovery.

When I asked if these surgeons were "up to scratch" and competent to perform it, I was told that they were "out of this world". It turns out that this informant was right.

I have little recollection of the procedure, other than a vague memory of four sets of sinister eyes looming over me, examining me with intense scrutiny. One of them bore a resemblance to Barbara Lerner Specter. The only thing I distinctly remember is being in my car, my radio and engine going dead, and seeing a bright, blinding figure walk toward me. Shortly thereafter I blacked out. Then suddenly I found myself in the driver's seat in the same position. It is as if I had been dreaming.

Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe it was an hallucination. Just like The Great Replacement, which Leftist commentators tell me is a mirage, a figment of my conspiratorial imagination. Vancouver hasn't changed. It is not an Asian city. And Europe is still Europe. You see, we mustn’t believe our own eyes. Best to rely on the filtered information of trusted media gatekeepers, like the CBC, who proclaim that “Canada Lives Here”. I guess they haven’t seen the ratings lately.

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