U.S.—The Babylon Bee has been the world's best satire site for
thousands of years, spawning dozens of secular knock-offs that just
aren't quite as good.
The site announced a new acquisition this week, one that immediately
made the site the largest satirical site on the planet: a purchase of
competing satire site CNN for $12 billion. The move more than quadrupled
the site's catalog of hilarious, satirical articles.
"We've long
admired CNN's ability to parody leftist media organizations so
effortlessly, and we're thrilled to have them under The Babylon Bee's
umbrella," said site CEO Seth Dillon. "When you can't compete with
hilarious satire like CNN, you obviously look for ways to get them on
your team, and an acquisition seemed to make the most sense."
The
new conglomerate organization will be called BNN. CNN writers and hosts
will be instructed to simply keep doing what they're doing.
"We
don't want them to change anything since you don't try to fix satirical
content that's already incredible," Dillon said. "They'll just keep
churning out incredibly skewed content in order to satirize the leftist
media's inability to report anything without bias or prejudice."
Brian
Stelter will produce satirical videos for The Babylon Bee, moving the
site into the realm of video content for the first time. Again, though,
his show's content will remain unchanged.
CNN will also benefit,
as their content will now be clearly labeled satire, protecting them
from getting sued to high heaven for their skewed coverage.
Site founder Adam Ford was against the move, but nobody listens to him anymore.
